Live without pretending

Last week I had the chance to sit down with a handful of my favorite bloggers and Brooke Walker, the host of Studio 5. We gathered at my house to discus a fun topic “Do we pretend online?” and trust me, we had a lot to say! What do you guys think? Do you think people pretend too much online? Are you real?

I think I’m pretty real on my blog and and on facebook, I share the good and the bad and feel better for keeping it real then trying to portray a “fake” or perfect persona.

To me the benefits of being real online always out weigh the pitfalls. It’s hard to get negative feed back when you put yourself out there and trust me, I’ve had my fair share of negative emails and comments. When I shared a simple post that I was going to a Lady Gaga concert I got dragged over the coals from readers who thought I was supporting a bad influence. When I complained about being pregnant AND having a 4 month long cold, I got comments suggesting I stop complaining because at least I could get pregnant! I could go on and on.

The flip side is all the good that’s come from being real online! It’s created a community of support. I’ve gotten advice from others when I admit I’m clueless and have been reminded that the world is indeed filled with amazing people who are happy to be your cheerleader when you need it.

Some of my most popular posts or facebook interactions have been when I am openly honest and real! I shared this photo on facebook of a behind the scenes look at my house during a photo shoot…

Even though my photo session produced beautiful shots it took a lot of work and mess to get there! When I posted the photo of my disaster of a kitchen I openly admitted that this is what real life over here can look like ! I’m no closer to perfection then the next mom or blogger! I just wanted to share the reality because I’ve heard all to often that we as woman are comparing our worst to each others bests when in reality by “best” only looks great in front of a lens. This photo and confession ignited laughs, high fives for being real and others openly admitting to having similar disaster zones.

So is it wrong to put your best out there? Do we lead on to perfection when our behind the scenes can look not so camera ready? This is an interesting topic isn’t it! My friends and I touch on this very topic. See what we had to say and chime in…Do you think we pretend too much online? Do you think there is room online to be professional and personal even if it means sharing the real sides of life? What do you guys think?

Watch the Studio 5 clip HERE! Sorry, it’s not letting me embed the video.

16 Comments

Comments

  1. 1

    Yes it can be hard to be real. I too have had similar issues when I am real on my blog. I love the but I have it worse than you do phenomena so you shouldn’t complain. I think we all have things that bother us and sharing the good and the bad is what make us human. PS I often have the messy syndrome my house. Your picture looks wonderful and it is amazing what the lens can capture and leave out :)

  2. 2

    I actually had to stop following some of the really big & well known blogs. I couldn’t live up with the constant reminder that I can’t measure up to that. Everything always looking perfect, turning out perfect, such a perfect outlook on life. It’s too much. I find myself sometimes gravitating more to the small blog… they seem more like people I might actually know in real life ya know? I can appreciate real… even when it’s messy, whiney, negative, and not everyone’s cup of tea! Love that you showed the mess to get such a great shot! Thanks for that! To answer your first question… yes, I think there’s a lot of pretending in the blog world and especially Facebook. But for the good people, they’re realness shows through! Honestly it didn’t even occur to me until the last year that people only show you the good stuff… since I show the good, the bad, and the ugly. I assummed others just did the same! My bad! ;) Thanks for the real post!

    • 3

      Ditto to this. When I read some of those bigger blogs, I felt like I was looking at a magazine shoot. 12 pictures of a gorgeous tablescape or recipe and yet no stories about birthday parties, bake sales, life with 4 kids, whatever. I guess that’s why I like lifestyle blogs and personal blogs a bit more than the niche blogs. Crafting is fun, but I like to see and hear more about the realness of a person.

  3. 4

    Thanks so much for sharing this. I think this is something so many of us feel but don’t express. Maybe it’s because we think we must be the only one who feels like ________ insert whatever it is at the moment ? I’ve slowly learned that I’m rarely the “only one”. It’s good to hear from other bloggers , especially from the “big blogs” . Presumably, we started blogging, most of us, because of the fun associated with it and I think we need to continually redefine why we blog vs letting it define and control us. And part of that is not trying to have everything perfect all the time because that’s just not life.

  4. 5

    SO true! I have been working on a couple of projects and my table looks just like your counter! Not pretty! Oh well, that’s real life. Although, I have to admit if someone pulled up the driveway I’d be racing to stash my mess!

  5. 6

    Ya know, I think it’s a double-sided coin. I think because of the types of blogs we have, we have to have the nice photos, etc because we are sharing tutorials and how-tos and beauty shots and lets face it, that’s what inspires people who are coming to our blogs for creative inspiration. I think with the popularity of Facebook and Instagram it gives us an avenue to really connect with our readers and let them see another side of us that we may not always portray on our blogs. I can’t always show a picture of my 2 year old son sitting on top of my kitchen table drinking my fountain soda on my blog because it doesn’t fit in with a post or series I’m doing but I can post it on Facebook and Instagram, know what I mean? I still remember that video you made that you were refering to with the cheerios and the messy bedroom with the mattress on the floor, etc and loved that you shed some light on what really takes place behind the scenes for us. :) You should see my place! ha ha XOXO

  6. 7

    I have not been blogging very long but am of the attitude that faking it would turn sour after awhile. My blog is about living simply and doesn’t cover design very often, so I don’t have to put on a fake persona. My motto is “Keep it simple and make it real!” – no room for any artificiality.

    Take care.

  7. 8

    I do think many bloggers fake it. I follow many and they present an unreal facade of the “perfect”life and some then go on to complain or whine when things aren’t going their way. Things that are often neglected are the cost involved in the projects you do, many of the bigger or more popular blogs are given free products to try and demonstrate, also the consequences of the choice you have truly made. I tried to start a blog, but I found I had to decide between spending time with my kids and husband and getting quality sleep or blogging. You really can’t do both, as your picture of the “reality” attests. There are points, though when honesty shines through, like when you stepped away from your blog to focus on your family and you did.

  8. 9

    It’s nice to see the mess behind the mastery. It’s often the same at my house since we cook a lot of meals from scratch. That means A LOT of dishes are usually in my kitchen. They may be clean, but it’s a tower on the drying rack. My husband and kids do help with clean up so I’m blessed that I don’t have to do it all myself.

  9. 10

    I have stopped reading many of the popular blogs because of that and getting bored with the same old stuff.I like to ‘know’ people and how they live etc. I enjoy your blog, the way you write and you graciously allowing us into your world.I have seen way too many people who are afraid to let anyone see them or their house or whatever if it’s not perfect. I finally had to tell a good friend that she was so stressed all the time because she could never relax due to having constantly have everything be perfect. It made it so I had a hard time feeling comfortable in her home.keep up the good work. If I only wanted to know HOW to do something there are plenty of reference sites around.

  10. 11

    I’ve had a blog for a little while, and it’s a small blog (for right now) and one of my goals is to “keep it real” more often on my blog. I think it’s great to show people our best, but as we look around on Pintrest, and blogs and Facebook I think that sometimes, it’s nice to know we aren’t alone in our mess behind the pictures, and in our imperfections. It’s nice to know that other moms have a hard time being home, or that their kids are crazy or not behaving all the time. I think we need to share that more often, so we can relate more to people, so we can reach out and embrace and help each other through tough times.
    Like you mentioned though, there will be people that have different struggles, and ideas and so they decide they can be mean or tell us that our problems aren’t as hard as theirs. Give and take in everything, but I think that keeping it real is always good. I love your blog, and I totally LOVED seeing that picture on Facebook. I’m glad that your after craft project counter looks like mine, lol.

  11. 12

    I’d say I show some of the bad with the good. I remember your video you did, now that was REAL! Even though I’m not Mormon, I still relate to your posts on your blog and Facebook. You have always been real in my book!

  12. 13

    You know I love ya–and one of your biggest cheerleaders as you are mine!

    I appreciate my friend’s blog because she does “Lows & Highs” its the perfect balance and such a fun way to blog. She writes tidbits about her “hard week” but always ends it with HIGH tidbits about her week. http://itsapples2oranges.blogspot.com/

    Totally relate-able—& helps me to feel that YES there truly is balance in all things!

  13. 14

    I love this post so much! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the video. :) I love seeing the “real” photos of people and their homes; it makes me feel much more normal. :)

  14. 15

    I agree with your feelings about “keeping it real” and a lot of the other commenters thoughts too. I try to point out when projects took a lot of time or what I’m not so hot at, so readers see I’m a real person with limitations like everyone else. And I love reading blogs that do that too.

    Craft blogging has changed a lot – a few years ago it was more real, amature people that were relatable. Now, with all the drop & load templates, widgets, online photo editing tools & social media it’s gotten a lot slicker, so most novice blogs look better than magazine websites. It’s no wonder readers can feel more deflated than inspired.

  15. 16

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